No matter who you are, if you are having a human experience, anxiety and fear are going to show up at your door step and ring your door bell.
These emotions are part of being human. And most often, we experience them as negative.
With this negative perception, it is understandable that we would do what we can to avoid, get away from, run from, hide, distract, fight with, or push away anxiety and fear.
We don’t want to let the fear and anxiety into our house. We want to build a giant wall so anxiety and fear never gets in.
We distract ourselves and pretend the fear and anxiety isn’t there. I do it too.
We use technology, blame others, eat unhealthy foods, take drugs, etc.
But none of these strategies really makes it go away.
Because fear and anxiety is just part of life. It’s what we sign up for as a human on this planet.
So with wisdom, we see that fear and anxiety is here and has in fact shown up at our door step.
What would it be like to let it in?
Would it in fact, be THAT bad?
Or would it just FEEL bad? For a bit.
Sometimes our feelings just want to seen, heard, and recognized.
And when we let them in, and even offer them kindness, they are no longer banging on our door step.
What our feelings really need is to be FELT.
Not pushed away. Not argued with. Not pretend they are not there.
They need to be allowed to be there, accepted for what they are, and given attention.
So, how would you treat a good friend?
What would it be like if you related to your fear and anxiety in the same way?
What would it be like to have a mature conversation with your anxiety? Would it have something valuable to say?
What if your anxiety was a gift that was actually showing you something you care about.
Often times, what we worry about the most is also what we value the most.
Perhaps our anxiety can be a guide that shows us we need to take some time to slow down and be kind to ourselves.
But don’t take my word for it. Try it out and see what happens if you commit to getting to know your fears and anxieties.
How might changing your relationship to your fears and anxieties change your life?
Until next time,
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with anxiety and could use the support of a professional, it would be an honor to be of service. I offer Therapy for Anxiety and Mindfulness Workshops in Oakland, California.